There is so much wrong with this gown that I’m not sure where to start. I mean the color is always a great location — teal is meant to be huge this year, however the teal that’s huge this year is a lot more mallard, less HoJo’s. The tan piping, the lumpy sleeves, the neck band, the elastic waist: all shudder-inducing.
However, what truly struck me about this gown (which is for sale on eBay for ten bucks or “best offer”) is that the providing explains it as “This is absolutely a gown you would see Carrie using while roaming with the city.” Now, I have been understood to look in a mirror as well as state “is this as well ‘Carrie Bradshaw’?” (and if the response is “yes,” I take whatever it is off. As you may have already guessed, I determine clothing-wise with Charlotte.) however this constant invoking of her name, attaching it to every hideous sartorial excess imaginable, has got To Stop.
Carrie would not wear this gown roaming around the city, unless the plot included her joining the experience security program, in which situation the “city” in concern would be Duluth. This is the gown equivalent of a hair scrunchie. This gown cannot exist in the exact same airplane of truth as Mr. Big. There is not a pair of Manolos ever made that might redeem this dress. Slapping “Carrie” on it won’t modification the truth that this is a horror.
Of course, now that I publish this, somebody will discover some still of Sarah Jessica Parker as Carrie dressed in something precisely like this. I will preserve that it’s the lost “Witness Protection” episode. Or I might just state “Hey, so I was wrong. Carrie would wear it. however YOU still shouldn’t wear teal terrycloth elastic-waist dresses, okay?”
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